Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Embarrassment and Shame

I think it's safe to say that everyone is embarrassed or ashamed of something at least once in his or her lifetime. Today I was ashamed that I thought Hobber painted Nighthawks instead of Hopper at my ACE competition. But feeling embarrassed or ashamed of yourself, or anyone for that matter, is something that will never have a positive effect on you or anyone around you. Usually it hurts and it can easily mess with your confidence. My only advice is to feel more confident about yourself and stop being embarrassed.

I think something I regret was when someone I use to fling with met my father and my stepmother. I was embarrassed because they were both overweight and not nearly as well off as his parents were. His family was a healthy bunch and mine ordered pizza at least once a week. I was actually ashamed. And truthfully, I'm ashamed of myself for being ashamed! But not anymore. For one thing, it was a long time ago--it's over and done with. Second off, I know better now than to be ashamed of my parents. They reared me into the individual I am today. I grew up in above average homes, they always had dinner on the table, and they supported me 90% of the time when I needed it. Just because they're overweight doesn't mean that skinnier people are better than them. It can be unhealthy to be skinny, too! But let's move on.

I've learned that when I'm embarrassed or ashamed of myself, my confidence is busted and I get in a grouchy mood. That makes my scores go down, my self-esteem go down, and also the way I treat others around me becomes worse. There are no benefits to these mindsets. And when you're embarrassed of someone else, imagine if they knew that. That could hurt them so much that now their confidence is ruined, and it could easily be a lasting impact. Especially if it's someone you're close to, because let's face it--no one should be ashamed of someone that person loves and adores and cares for. You can't tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you love them more than anything and they're the best thing to ever happen to you, and then never introduce him or her to your parents. That could easily ruin your relationship and could ruin his or her self-esteem. Is it really worth it?

Always appreciate what you have. Don't take it for granted and then be ashamed of it when you mess up or it's all out in the open. Be proud of who are you, what you love to do, and who you love. These three things are one of the most important things to always remember--and it's one of the very first steps to acceptance of yourself and those around you.


  1. Everyone gets embarrassed but so what right, you move on. I was never ashamed of my parents that I know of. Mine were in their own little world, achieving this world renown this or that, solving problems no one else in the world had solved then travelling to explain how he did it, while she was off getting her 4th bachelors degree with two masters degrees attached to it. I grew up with the house key in hand and later the car keys, graduated and moved on far away and then farther away and back to this side of the country. But when one becomes ashamed and embarrassed about something and they turn it into something mean they become the bully, whether they bully their parent, their sibling, their friends by throwing insults here and there, doesn't make them a better person, just makes them think they feel better about themselves but in actuality they just made themselves an uglier colder person by verbal assaults. Your mother is my best friend and in HS she and I were skinny minnies and we both then had you and I had the twins, to drop that weight from carrying, makes it darn hard and when you are in a relationship where there is no happiness just insults or silence, or even ignoring the other person in the home, while we consumed ourselves to raise you ladies, I dropped my weight it took some time but I did it. Then 6 years later I had another and it was just that much harder to drop it but I did it again, then kidney problems and hip issues arose, so I gained, then I got really sick and dropped 43 lbs like water. But the point is it doesn't matter what we as people look on the outside, it is what we are from the inside, does your parents love you, darn right they do. Do they hurt from things their kids say, for mom yes most likely, for dads, well ours here he shrugs it off because he says you are teens and he was once and said nasty stuff to his parents. Love who you are and who you have become, love your family as they are, doesn't matter, because today isn't promised and neither is tomorrow and one of them may never wake again, you don't know, but if you take everything for granted then it is all taken away from you, in an instant. One of our kids friend dad left for work 4 Saturdays ago, 20 mins later hit by a car and died instantly. That was it she didn't even find out until 6 hours later, on a Saturday, police arrived and told her mom the dad had died in a fatal accident. 12 years old dad is gone. Their friends from school were dropping a classmate off and it just had stopped raining and the roads were slippy, her car clipped the side and it spun out of control by their school and a Dodge Durango hit them on the side of the car, both girls died instantly, would have been seniors this year, but instead they are down the road from us buried near each other. Life is not promised. Our girls eye doc son who was 14 thought he was too old to trick or treat, but decided he wasn't, well he died the next day, why because he came home from something fun ate a Snickers miniature and he choked, his parents desperately tried to clear his airways but it melted into a gooey blob in his throat and all his air was gone and he went brain dead within minutes. Life is short, enjoy it and don't bash yourself what you should have or could have done or tell yourself to love yourself, just love yourself, love others, love all. That simple. Oh and forgive, if you don't forgive you actually never move on ever, you think you do but you don't. You harbor it, days on end, what you could of done, or should have done, but we all have issues, we all have overcoming moments. Self esteem everyone should have but they don't. Good read. I liked it. Sounds like you are trying to find the confidence and acceptance you need. If you love yourself first and not make it a selfish thing loving others and your family comes that much easier.

  2. Chelsea...I am so proud of you!!! This is such a great thing that you are doing! Thinking positive is such a great feeling!!! One thing I have never understood is why people choose to be nasty & negative when you can turn something around and look at it positively. Say please, thank you, excuse me, yes sir, yes ma'am...or do what I did just tonight and start chatting with someone in the grocery store...of course it helps that the gentleman was just as chatty and then say "Have a good night!" Feels good to make someone smile :) Keep this up're doing great! I Love you!! Mom :)

  3. I truly enjoy reading your blog posts especially this one, because i have felt ashamed of my life choices but in the end that's in the past and you can't rewrite your past. "Enjoy what you have now and be thankful" is the message i received from this. Thanks!