This post will just be a reminder to those whose moods are up and down with oncoming fall and winter. I experience it myself, and so I'm writing this to those who need that reminder every once in a while that things will get better and to just always look on the bright side.
Lately, things have been really weird. Really lonely. And it doesn't make any sense--I'm with friends all of the time, I've met new, wonderful people that make me feel appreciated again, and my financial situation isn't as terribly stressful as it was before.
But I haven't been sleeping, sometimes I go days without. Some days I binge eat, and others I can't even look at food. Some days I wake up just knowing it's going to be a great day, and others I wake up and have to force myself to face everything. I'm not sure if this is my reaction to all of the stress I've been attempting to put up with, or just the cold, bitter winter putting a downer on my mood. I'm excited for Halloween and winter break and the new fashion lines coming in. I'm excited to see one of my favorite bands for the third year in a row and (hopefully) the Black Keys in December. I'm really excited to turn 18 in a month. And I'm especially stoked to finally go off to college in California and just live.
But it's so hard to wait. It's almost painful. Patience is a virtue that should be given more credit by those who have it, because it is just not something I have and I really wish I did. I try so hard to just sit and occupy myself with whatever silly hobbies just until my birthday, or really even just my paycheck. Is it this hard for everyone?
As I'm sure many can relate, all of this confusion and muddle is just something that comes along with every winter. Sure, it's been more present lately, and has affected my habits in more than one way, but I know things are going to start looking up really soon. Or maybe it'll be like that Doors song: "Well, I've been down so very damned long, that it looks like up to me." Kind of morbid, but hey, if it looks like an up, then treat it like an up and be a little more optimistic. It really can't hurt you at all to do so.
So try to give yourself a break and look on the brighter side. Whether it be a harder drive to work and study or exercise, or maybe to just try and find a little more positivity in your life wherever you can find it, try not to let yourself down. It's important to maintain that balance of neutrality, but even more important to let the more positive side influence your goals and ideals and attitudes. It is this side that leads you to that better place and helps you get through the day. I already know that although I won't be sleeping tonight, I'm going to work really hard and get what I need to get done tomorrow and try to work myself through this negativity I've been experiencing lately. Once you recognize it, you can get through it.
So I hope this helps a little as a reminder for this upcoming winter. I appreciate the time you have put into reading this, and remember the balance.