Thursday, May 22, 2014
What I want to discuss is very general, and I can thank my boyfriend for this entry. Sometimes, he and I will be sitting outside in complete silence under the stars (I know, cliche as all get out) and he'll ask me, "Why is life so complex?" or, "There are seven billion people in the world--why does one person and what that person does matter so much?" And when I answer him, he looks at me as if I was the wisest person he had ever met.
There are three different types of people of this generation: those who party, lose themselves under the influence, don't have a care for school or their future; those who waste hours lost in their own minds, constantly over-thinking, yet oversimplifying everything, love tenderly and wastefully, and are open-minded to the point where it feels like there are no wrongs; and then there are a mix of the two. I have noticed this with every person I meet that they absolutely always fall into one of those categories. Of course, though I am contradicting myself, everyone truly is unique, even in the slightest, minutest way. I am just simplifying things.
When my boyfriend asks me why life is so complex, all I have to say is that it really isn't all so intricate--if we take out all the worries, all the expectations, all the troubles, we have a very simple form left. This form of life is delicate, but sturdier than steel and can take on a beating never seen before. Life is complex, however, because we make it that way. We let our past haunt us and our future peck at us until there's nothing left but bones. Why do we do this? Is it because of what has been drilled into our heads of what a successful and fulfilling life is? Or is it because it's what we secretly like, despite the heartache and pain?
It is questions like these that help me try to understand why our generation is so different. Most of us have survived enticing indoctrination and have learned to think for ourselves--and I thank the good earth for that everyday. Most of us have beaten peer pressure and if we are condemned for our actions, at least we did them not because we wanted to be cool, but because we sincerely wanted to and knew it would help us or make us feel better (please do not assume I am essentially speaking of drugs and alcohol). I believe this generation has more of a sense of individuality and independence ever seen since the late 60s. The problem is that we are suffocated and that is why life seems so difficult even at such a young age.
Teenagers tend to make decisions based on their situation. I know several that get drunk because they want a relief from all the schoolwork, and I know several that get drunk because they are unhappy. I look at people who smoke weed (and by the way, I do not look down upon anyone who does these things since three fourths of the population does anyways) as, for lack of a better term, afraid of reality. They need an escape. I look at those who smoke tobacco and I think, "These people recognize death and life's limits and do not fear wholly." Obviously my perspective is probably drastically different from yours and his and hers but it's what I think and it's how I view life from the outside. But what do I see from the inside? What does anyone see from the inside? Do we see hate, lust, gluttony? Or love, kindness, and gratitude? This is why life is so difficult. There are so many things to be put into consideration that we become confused, flustered, and often lost in our ways.
When he asked me why one person matters so much I always say the same thing: That person, no matter who he or she was, had an enormous impact on someone else's life. We all affect each other. I know I have personally had big impacts on people, whether through my kindness, my envy, or my love. To a parent, his or her child is typically what has affected him or her most and vice versa. We are all important. We all have that one person we will remember for the rest of our lives and replay memories of them in our heads for years to come. And all of this ties into the complexity of life.
Now, obviously I'm no philosopher. I'm only seventeen and my outlook on this world will almost inevitably change. I am not wise, I am not experienced, and I am not convinced of myself. All of this just happened to weigh on my mind and I wanted to share. I have no closing advice or tips.