You've Got a Friend in Me

From what I've experienced lately, finding out that someone you have cared dearly for and appreciated has actually pretended to be your friend is overwhelmingly disheartening. Especially in high school, friendships are a crucial part of life; they're what help you get through your troubles when you have no one to turn to and you just can't go to your family for. But they're not forever, and that's a fact.

On New Years' Eve, I found out that one of my closest friends of three years and also my neighbor only considers us "friends because we're neighbors." When I heard that, I was absolutely shocked. Someone who I had cared for dearly, someone who I had spent time with constantly, someone who I had appreciated and a friendship that I put so much effort into because I adored her; it all meant absolutely nothing to her. Surprisingly, though, I wasn't really upset. I just felt betrayed and embarrassed because she completely fooled me into believing she was a good friend.

Ever since, I've been happier. Weird, right? But I've been happy because it helped me realize who my true friends are and that not everyone deserves my unconditional love, care, and appreciation like I originally thought. Truthfully, it's hard to find someone and be able to have the chance of being friends with them for so long. Let's face it, life isn't all that short, it's long as all get out. 

One person you will always have no matter what--and no, it's not your mother--is yourself. You will always be your own best friend because you know how to make yourself happy when you're down and you know what's best for you, despite what people like to believe. Sometimes, even telling stories to yourself in the mirror is a totally reasonable way to vent out your emotions; you can't embarrass yourself in front of yourself and you can't be weirded out and choose not to hang out with yourself anymore.

I know this sounds crazy, but it's completely true. It's just always good to understand that when you feel like the whole world is against you and you have no one to turn to--you always have yourself. And eventually, those beautiful, ever-lasting friendships will develop and you'll be happier than ever. Just make sure that you're not wasting your precious energy, love, effort, and time to those who don't deserve someone as beautiful and wonderful as you are. 

Embarrassment and Shame

I think it's safe to say that everyone is embarrassed or ashamed of something at least once in his or her lifetime. Today I was ashamed that I thought Hobber painted Nighthawks instead of Hopper at my ACE competition. But feeling embarrassed or ashamed of yourself, or anyone for that matter, is something that will never have a positive effect on you or anyone around you. Usually it hurts and it can easily mess with your confidence. My only advice is to feel more confident about yourself and stop being embarrassed.

I think something I regret was when someone I use to fling with met my father and my stepmother. I was embarrassed because they were both overweight and not nearly as well off as his parents were. His family was a healthy bunch and mine ordered pizza at least once a week. I was actually ashamed. And truthfully, I'm ashamed of myself for being ashamed! But not anymore. For one thing, it was a long time ago--it's over and done with. Second off, I know better now than to be ashamed of my parents. They reared me into the individual I am today. I grew up in above average homes, they always had dinner on the table, and they supported me 90% of the time when I needed it. Just because they're overweight doesn't mean that skinnier people are better than them. It can be unhealthy to be skinny, too! But let's move on.

I've learned that when I'm embarrassed or ashamed of myself, my confidence is busted and I get in a grouchy mood. That makes my scores go down, my self-esteem go down, and also the way I treat others around me becomes worse. There are no benefits to these mindsets. And when you're embarrassed of someone else, imagine if they knew that. That could hurt them so much that now their confidence is ruined, and it could easily be a lasting impact. Especially if it's someone you're close to, because let's face it--no one should be ashamed of someone that person loves and adores and cares for. You can't tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you love them more than anything and they're the best thing to ever happen to you, and then never introduce him or her to your parents. That could easily ruin your relationship and could ruin his or her self-esteem. Is it really worth it?

Always appreciate what you have. Don't take it for granted and then be ashamed of it when you mess up or it's all out in the open. Be proud of who are you, what you love to do, and who you love. These three things are one of the most important things to always remember--and it's one of the very first steps to acceptance of yourself and those around you.